I've been bad at this, what's new. I should write more, it is kind of nice to ...
So, since February? Hm, I'm closer to completing my degree! Yeah! It's looking like I should be done next March. I've recently had an interesting instructor. Ronald Bemaul, a man of great spirits and a large heart. An amazing instructor! Took me by surprise and overwhelmed me, but he was a good instructor. He instructed my marketing class. Now? On to Public Relations...
I started playing soccer with a women's league. Finally playing with girls again. It's interesting, with guys (who've I've been playing with for the last 8 yrs.), I'm not as aggressive as I am when I play with girls. I'm not sure why, perhaps I'm intimidated by the guys? I think that's what it is... weird, I never thought I was!
I did a couple tournaments with BAWSL (Bay Area Women's Soccer League), the Hurricanes team. Good players, nice players, but lowsy record. Hm, this is just like when I was in school! Soccer, softball, basketball- always on a losing team. It was interesting, from 2000-2005. I've been on a very good co-ed team (we placed 2nd for 2 yrs. and 1st for 3 yrs). I finally got to feel how it feels to win :).
I now am playing with the same team in the summer league. We've only won one game, this last one. We won 3-1. Yea :)
Our softball team has been doing pretty good. I think we're tied for 2nd now!
I've been working on my yard a lot. I've planted 5 European white birch trees, a japanese maple ,a pomegranate, an orange and a lemon tree. I've planted camellias, gardenias, lantanas, joseph's coat rose, trumpet vine, coral honeysuckle, various bulbs and a slew of veggies and herbs. I love it! Working in the yard is lovely! Coffee from 10-12pm, beer from 1-10pm :). It's reviving and uplifting.
I still have plenty of work to do! I started digging out my pond/waterfall today. I've got to increase the height of the back part, which needs to be packed and supported very well. I'm still figuring out how to do this.
I rototilled the front yard- everything before I planted the birch trees. I want to extend the walkway ffrom the main one to the gate. I've dug some of that up. It's a BIG job without a rototill! I no longer have access to one, erk.
What else? I've had my heart broken. Ripped, torn, shredded, stepped on, tossed, crushed, wedged, flicked, battered, demolished. It SUCKS! I never thought it would feel like this. Betrayal hurts more, I think. Or atleast to me it may. Betrayal causes that heart to feel more damaged, more torn, more ripped- not just broken. It makes you uneasy, sad, confused, lost. It's crazy! Why does anyone need to go through this? There must be a reason!
I wish I could identify the reason sooner better than later. I think I've figured out why this happened, well why there was a break up. I can't exactly say why each thing added and created this specific break up...this could have happened another way. An easier way, a less hurting way...Actually I think I now. It's a religious reason, but I think it's right...
Things do happen for a reason, so I'm trying to focus on what I can now gain, experience, touch...it's just so hard. I have random thoughts that can change my feelings on the dime. It's difficult. Focus- what did you not have, that you needed? What were you not able to experience, that is crucial to experience? What did you not touch that you crave to touch?
The analytical brain of mine has been working over time for the last month. My mind is so drained...
