Larissa's "when she feels like writing stuff" page
description..Um, read the title :)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Yea! No more Public Relations class! On to Global Business Strategies. I think this class will be a little more interesting.
Weekend was fun! I had a blast hanging out with the girls, camping out and rafting! One of Marra's friend's, Leti drove up with me. She became my BFF for the weekend. Ha! Well, it was funny, everyone thought we knew each other for a long time. I told them, uh, no, for about 7 hours :P. She is cool; we will definitely hang out again.
I ended up not being able t find my tent. I have no idea where it went, but I definitely do not have it. Leti didn't bring a tent either. Fortunately I was able to bunk with Jocelyn and Leti with someone else. Jocelyn left early so Leti and I shared her tent on Sat night.
Saturday am we were suppose to begin rafting at 10am. I was two beers down and anxious...well, they were late. The company was waiting for another group that hadn't gotten there yet. 2 beers and an hour later we're on the raft. I'm in the front left.
We just had gotten started and we weren't on a named rapid...I fall out. It was hilarious and totally unexpected! I was the only one on the raft that had been rafting before (well more than once) and I was the only one that fell out. Nice! Leave it to me!
Loads of fun!
Saturday night Melissa's 12 yr. old daughter, Marra and I wandered to a nearby campsite where they were playing music. There were three guys; one had a banjo, one had a guitar and one had a harmonica. They played various songs, even Iesha by ABC. They sounded awesome and the idea- bring some instruments camping? and play? That's totally cool! We hung out for a bit, trying to sneak our way into the camp, then our entire camp came- 11 more people. Ha! We danced for a few then went back to our campsite. A couple hours later two of the three guys came and partied with us. It was fun.
So, on my way to school today I got a flat on my motorcycle. Yea, um, that sucks. Definitely not as easy and getting a flat in your car. I went to call AAA, then realized my card was in my car. I finally was able to get the # off my phone's internet, then found out that they don't cover motorcycles. They then routed me to CHP who never picked up. I then called my insurance company who was closed. Then I called the emergency claim number which was a wrong number. Fortunately the Freeway Service Patrol pulled over and called a tow truck company for me. This had to have been atleast 30 minutes after I pulled over. I called up my roommate who said she'd drop off her car then head back to the house with the tow truck. Phew! I made it to school an hour late... Still was able to give my presentation and do my final. Phew!
Now another bill- $250 for the tow truck and another ~$200 for the tire if it's damaged. I think I'll fill it up then keep an eye on it to see if it's a slow leak. Stupid!
I'm going to San Diego on Friday- the 11th. I'm trying to plan my scuba dive trips... ooh ooh, I'm so excited.
I'm looking at 2 companies so far. I heard La Jolla Cove or Canyon is the spot to go to. I'd like to get in a night time dive too, that'd be awesome!
Almost done with Public Relations! Yea! I have not been too into this class. Really, I don't think I like public relations. Why? I think it is all about showing who you are, what you are about, what you believe in and doing so to make the company profitable rather than cause that is just who you are....I think...
Yea, I'm going white water rafting this weekend! I'm going with about 13 girls. We are camping at Camp Lotus in Lotus. We will be doing a two day rafting trip on the South Fork American River. It will be mellow (only class 3), but it will be fun, hanging out in the sun and water...I'm looking forward to relaxing and getting my mind off things...
Nothing much more than that is going on. I'm now trying to be fight the loneliness I feel. I just want to hold someone, love someone, lay with someone, warm someone. It's difficult; I feel a sort of emptyness a loss. I don't like it. I've been keeping myself busy, but I still have these feelings. I really want them to go away...
So, another Friday night alone. Oh well, I DO have an 8am soccer game tomorrow!
I've been thinking about my new bf...what will he be like? What will he like? What will we do together? What will his beliefs be?
My new bf... will be... an independent, creative, innovative, intelligent, daring, adventurous, loving guy and a strong guy!
he will like.... sports, exploring new things (food, cultures, destinations, activities, thoughts), cuddling without me having to tell him, think of me when he wakes up, while he works and when he goes to sleep, who I am, listening to me, what I'm about and what I believe in.
we will... have intellectual conversations about recent things/ideas/experiences we've learned, travel to new and exciting places together, share our thoughts and feelings, do our hobbies together, understand each other.
will believe... in God, in doing the best he can, in challenging himself, in taking risks to get ahead in life, in taking the steps necessary to achieve his goals, in me and in us.
and of course...
be hot, have a great body, have great hair, have capturing eyes, sculptured calves and shoulders,
I'm sad and I'm mad... for the last 1.5mths or so, I haven't been performing my best. At work, at school, at softball, at soccer, I've been underperforming. I'm VERY upset at this. Larissa is a strong person, she WILL get through this! I just didn't realize it would be so hard nor did I realize it IS impacting me so much. Why does someone do this to another person they supposedly love? Make them feel so hurt, so confused, so sick, so underachieving. This is not me! I am very upset that I've underperformed in the last 1.5 mths.
We lost our softball game today and I had the worst game ever. Really, in like 18 years :(. I missed 1 catches, one foul that I ran for. One ball went over my head and 2 balls were short- in front of me. I was 1 for 3. This is not Larissa.
Soccer? I haven't been communicating as much and I haven't been focusing as much. I seem to not be looking around and really figuring out the plays, just doing them. It feels as though I'm out of my element.
School? I'm slacking off on my normal team leading. I send out the agenda a day later than I normally do. I forget things I'm suppose to do and I procrastinate.
Work? I have forgotten to do SO many things! I feel overwhelmed, but I really dont' think it is my work load. Now sure, if I had less of a work load, I would probably be able to handle it, but my typical load? I'm slacking.
I don't like this. I don't like this at all! These are all things that I should be putting more attention on focus on now that I have more time. I never thought I would ever be like this. It just isn't right for another person to have this kind of affect on someone. Especially if that person is strong! I really need to figure out why this all happened...and change the way I'm feeling and how I'm living my life.
Why do people have to suck? Why do people have to DESTROY other people's lives? Why do people have to be WEAK and screw other people because THEY can't face their OWN insecurities and troubles? Why did I have to put so much trust in someone to let this hit me so hard? I really hope this doesn't taint how I move on to another relationship; that just wouldn't be right.
The rest of my weekend was ok. I laid mulch down in the front and mowed the lawn on Saturday. Saturday night I went down to Hollister Independence Rally Saturday evening. Same thing, every year...beer, people and food. I went with a couple friends. We went to Whiskey Creek Saloon for the first beer. We then went to Johnny's Bar and Grill for the 2nd beer and shot. Then April and I went to Britannia Arms to meet up with some of her guy friends. Hang out? Not so fun...
Sunday, Antonio came over to borrow my CDI igniter box. We went to eat breakfast at Scramblz after. It was a nice visit. Then we went to Home Depot and I got to pick up somethings that I havne't been able to since I don't have a truck... a wheelbarrow, trellises and a weed whacker. .
The rest of Sunday was spent putting up trellises, mounting some quick fix shelves in the garage, setting up my chargers and FINALLY putting my R6 battery on a battery tender. I drained the oil on my R6, then, um, realized that the moto shop gave me 15w/40 instead of 20w/50. So, no fill there... I changed my oil filter though :P.
Sunday evening I bbq'ed tri=tip again. MMM, sooo tender and juicy! I'm getting better at this! I made some broccoli au gratin rice and garlic bread again. Mmm!
It's 1042 on Friday evening...and... I'm home hanging out wiht Jada and semi-watching The Whole Nine Yards. Not the usual, I'll say. I did go to the movies with Young and saw Hellboy.
Young took me out because I was feeling lonely. Yes, Larissa is feeling lonely. I told Young that it sucks because I really want someone to call when I want to hang out, I want to have someone to tell good morning or good night to, I want someone to hold. It's hard. I am really glad I have Jada :). She's probably helping me more than I know.
I guess it's good I stayed home, I have homework to do. I can't wait until I finish school. There are so many things that I don't have time for. Oh yea, my old relationship took time too. I should have a little more now. I want to get back into Salsa and weightlifting. I also have been considering taking gymnastics or some type of hip hop dance class. Dunno, I really don't know if I would have time.
I had my first Oregon Sugar Pod Snow Pea the other day! Mmm, I LOVE eating veggies out of my yard :). Fresh sugar pea right off the vine? Yummy! I planted some carrot seeds, but unfortunately none of them grew :(. Fresh carrots are good!
So weekend plans.. do laundry and work a little on the yard tomorrow. I might go to the Morgan Hill Water Park with April, her niece and Amber and her 3 kids. Maybe... I kind of want to go for a bike ride, but not sure if I will be waking up early enough to go. We'll see. Sunday I'll work on digging my pond a bit more, lay down some mulch and finally start some additional veggie seeds (I'm a little late on these, lets see how they turn out). Antonio is coming over to borrow my EX500's CDI ignitor, so we are going out to breakfast. My friend Dominic, his wife, Marina, her mom and their son will be coming over to BBQ on Sunday.
I went to Dominic and Marina's house a few weeks ago and we had hamburgers. AND the bun? The bun? The bun was a BISCUIT! It was delicious!
You know what really sucks? Every single movie or show has 2 people making out or making love. You know how hard that is to watch?!?! I can't even see that right now! Sad, very sad.
MMM, that was a yummy tri-tip! So, tonight was the first night I bbq'ed a tri-tip without Mario. I usually bbq it or he does, when he's eating here. I tried extra hard tonight to make it yummy. MMm, it was!
I also made some green beans with white wine, lemon and garlic simmered in white wine. mmm! Garlic sourdough too :).
Many people are asking how I'm doing. I think I'm doing better. I think the distance is helping me break the routine, which is probably the hardest thing to break next to the love you have. It's tough, but I know God does things for reasons and makes you live and experience things so you can be a better person. I learned a few things in these last 4 years (sure I could have learned these in less than 4 years). I'm glad I learned them; they will help me grow into my next relationship.
Now I feel less hurt by the love that was lost, but more hurt when I think about the betrayal. I try so hard not to think about it, but erg, it's there. I think how could he? What was he thinking? How could I not know? What did he feel? What didn't he feel? How is he livign with himself? How can he move on? It's hard, it sucks, but I'll get through it. I have no doubt in that.
So many people say- it will get better, you'll be fine... I know it will and I know I will. BUT in the process, it SUCKS!
My beer tastes good :) and Jada's good...I'm happy with that.
Ok, next subject...
ick, I dont' know what my next subject is... I should probably get back to my homework. I'm doing a paper on a public relations campaign for selling chocolate cakes in Canada for a Canadian charity. Mike Cammalleri from the Calgary Flames will be promoting if for my food company :). Interesting? Sure. Exciting? No. Oh well, t'is class...
And!
Only about 9 more months of it!!
Lake Tahoe was nice. Unfortunately I didn't do any hiking or running (and I brought my runners and like 3 running outfits). I did go biking, lounging, drinking, floating and tanning :). Yes, a lazy vacation. Am I happy with that? Yes :). It was fun and relaxing and I enjoyed my time.
There was a crazy experience, but once I get photos up, I'll enlighten you.
Yea! Vacationing! Not for a very long time, but, 5 days, that will work. I'm going to Lake Tahoe tomorrow (I LOVE Lake Tahoe) ! I'm going to bring my bike- just got a trunk mount for my Hybrid. Oh, shoot, yea- STi was pre-igniting for 30k miles. I took my car into Subaru MULTIPLE times and they couldn't properly troubleshoot it. So, what happened? Piston rings went bad! I caught and caught with Subaru and Steven's Creek Subaru and was able to get them to cover the $15k of labor and short block replacement. I sold it shortly after. WAY too mush maintenance. Way too much of a headache for a NEW, suppose to be reliable car. And, of course, I was using it as my commuter. So...
I bought a Honda Civic Hybrid, Yes, I know, it's not hot, not fast, not cool. BUT! 40mpg! and cheap gas! And ~10k mile oil changes. It was a good decision, but I'm still upset the Subaru betrayed me :(.
Ok, installed trunk mount bike rack. Going to bring my new Boxer, Jada :). I'm sooo glad I got her, especially since what I'm going through. It is nice to have a little someone who will be providing you unconditional love. :)
Jada posing in my living room :)
Jada playing with her rope. She's funny when she plays with her rope- she uses her front legs just as if they are arms/hands.
I'm pretty close to completing my packing. Unfortunately I had homework (still do) so I had a crap load of stuff to do and am not done washing/packing.
I'm going to have LOADS of fun in Tahoe! I'm going hiking, biking, running, swimming, jet skiing, boating, drinking! I love Tahoe in the summer! yes even more than boarding. Winter is NOT that fun! The only thing that is fun is snowboarding, but you need a hot tub :).
Ok, I need to get back to packing/washing/homework.
We just had gotten started and we weren't on a named rapid...I fall out. It was hilarious and totally unexpected! I was the only one on the raft that had been rafting before (well more than once) and I was the only one that fell out. Nice! Leave it to me!
Loads of fun!
Jada playing with her rope. She's funny when she plays with her rope- she uses her front legs just as if they are arms/hands.
